Summary Draft 1 (Autonomous Vehicles)


In the article “Singapore revs up engines for autonomous vehicle race”, states that Autonomous Vehicles (AV) have been developing around the world and Singapore have made an advancement towards AVs in the recent years to be on par with other countries. Countries such as Germany, are experimenting AVs on actual road conditions with minimum risk on safety whilst Korea are developing AVs to where cars can navigate by itself. Both countries including Singapore perception towards AVs is to provide a safer and effective mobility user environment to the community. For example, Singapore is trying to deploy functional AVs to promote safety such as the commencing of driverless bus in National University of Singapore. However, Singapore development on AVs has yet to reach the standards of other countries as the foreign countries has produced way more advance AVs as compared to Singapore.

Comments

  1. Devaraj Domingo21 September 2019 at 05:22

    Hey Naz, good effort on summary draft one. I would like to share some of my opinions and thoughts that can help make your summary better:

    1) The initial sentence written is all right. However, I notice you did not utilize some of the critical things that were taught such paraphrasing, summarizing and citation conventions. Its is essential to use them to avoid getting fault by the author for plagiarism.

    2) The examples and secondary supports that you have provided were able to support your main claim, which is excellent.

    3) I spotted a few minor grammar mistakes, here is a link to it, do look into it and change them.
    https://1drv.ms/o/s!AirAeWNi8_P_gm9x0_8Yf_CgfVzt

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Devaraj Domingo21 September 2019 at 10:13

      if you are not able to access the above link try this alternate link instead https://gofile.io/?c=xGIWbU

      Delete
  2. Jantzen Lee21 September 2019 at 09:27

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jantzen Lee21 September 2019 at 09:59

    Hi Naz,

    Good effort on summary draft 1. Here are some pointers I would like to share with you that you can consider when attempting draft 2 :

    1. After quoting the Article, you can mention "Noble (2019) states". This is so as that you credit the writer of the article and who is the person giving the thesis statement.

    2. Certain sentences like Sentence 1 and 2 is a bit long. You can break the sentence into 2 different sentences.

    3. Sentence 2 mentions Germany and Korea. For Sentence 3, you wrote "Both countries including Singapore". Maybe you can consider writing it as "Similar to the countries mentioned above, Singapore ..."

    4. I think you have strong examples linking back to the thesis statement. So you can leverage upon that in your second draft.

    5. Minor Grammar Errors like "effective mobile users" instead of "effective mobility users"

    I have made amendments on the article. You can find it in the link below
    https://gofile.io/?c=o5t3WN

    All the best on writing draft 2! Lets try our best and strive to do well! If you have any questions or areas that requires clarification, you know where to find me!

    Yours Sincerely
    Jantzen Lee

    ReplyDelete

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